


Girl Talk

by havocthecat



Series: Mini OTP [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Character Death Fix, F/M, Female Friendship, Het, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-11
Updated: 2005-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:24:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/400380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havocthecat/pseuds/havocthecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Janet have their friendship back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girl Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here on LJ](http://havocthecat.livejournal.com/130882.html).

"So what's this I hear about you and Daniel blowing off gym?" asked Sam. She lay across Janet's bed, a physics textbook open in front of her, and a notebook full of equations next to it.

Janet was sitting in a nest of pillows in the corner. She had been staring at a giant blue literature textbook until Sam spoke up. "I don't know," said Janet. "What's this I hear about you and Jack getting caught making out in the boiler room?"

Sam blushed.

"So it *is* true, then," said Janet.

"Janet!" exclaimed Sam.

"Oh, come on," said Janet. "Haven't you heard them talking at school?"

"Talking about what?" Sam looked perplexed.

"Oh, I forgot," said Janet. "You're the brainy head cheerleader. I'm the brain who mouths off to all the faculty and is therefore less popular than you are. The students don't ask you if we have nightly orgies at our house."

"They do not!" shrieked Sam, scrambling up and leaping off the bed towards Janet. She sat down cross-legged in front of Janet's homework. "You're kidding me!"

"Sam." Janet put her book down. It impacted the floor with an audible thunk. "We're six teenagers living in one house. We tell everyone we're emancipated minors, except for Colonel O'Neill, who, depending on his mood, tells everyone we're the Boxcar Children or the American branch of Hogwarts."

"I'm still not sure when he read those books," said Sam, shaking her head.

"He borrowed them from Cassie," said Janet. "The point is, we don't fit into their limited world view. They've never known anything but living with their parents and going to school," said Janet. "I don't blame them. Do you remember when you were a teenager?"

"The first time, you mean?" asked Sam dryly.

Janet shuddered. "Yes. The thing is, the leading theory involves nightly orgies, and the second most popular theory is that we're Satanists. Reportedly we sacrifice defenseless household pets on our blood-drenched altar down in the basement."

"Wait," said Sam. "If we have nightly orgies, how do they explain the fact that there are four men and two women living here?"

"Gosh, Sam, isn't it obvious?" asked Janet, her eyes wide and her expression completely innocent. "We have bisexual orgies. In fact, you and I are raging lesbians who get it on in the locker room after cheerleading practice. And guess what they say Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c do after hockey practice?"

"Oh, God," groaned Sam. "Let me guess. There are after-hockey practice gangbangs?"

"Jonas apparently makes sure to leave Quiz Bowl practice early so he can get there in time," said Janet. "And Daniel supplies us with party drugs."

"Daniel's our aphrodisiac supplier?" asked Sam curiously.

"He went on a rant about how certain Native American cultures used consciousness-expanding drugs and why we shouldn't judge them for it in biology," said Janet. "The mandatory appointment with the school counselor came very quickly after that."

"And here Jack was worried that Daniel was going to upset the history teacher by insisting that aliens built the pyramids." Sam sighed. "Why us?"

"Why not?" asked Janet. "Jack transferred in last year, and we all gradually transferred in, acted like we already knew each other--because we did--and we're weird. We don't often act like teenagers because we've already passed that developmental stage in our lives. So the real teenagers need to come up with some kind of explanation for our odd behavior. It's actually perfectly understandable, if frustrating."

"Do the guys know?" asked Sam.

Janet smirked. "Let's not tell them. Wouldn't want to upset their fragile male psyches if they don't know about it--and besides, it doesn't matter. Daniel and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night."

"As in you two are going on a date?" asked Sam. "Finally!"

"Please," said Janet. "Like Daniel and I are any comparison to the unrequited feelings you and Jack had for each other? But I need an opinion on what to wear."

"Anything but olive drab, navy blue, khaki, or lab coat white," said Sam.

"Have you noticed the stunning lack of those colors in my wardrobe?" asked Janet. "If I'm not going to officially be Major Janet Fraiser of the United States Air Force any more, I am absolutely *not* going to be wearing anything resembling a uniform. Except in gym class."

"I also notice you're growing your hair long," said Sam.

"You can't talk," said Janet. She got up and walked over to the closet. "Come on, let's act like teenagers and go through every single piece of clothing I own looking for the perfect outfit. I actually haven't been on a date in years anyway, so we'd be doing this even if we were still adults."

"Sounds good," said Sam.

\--end--


End file.
